We are moving forward from Heidi’s death, slowly. Two steps back, half a step forward. We spent the last few days remembering her, watching movies, looking at photos and using a lot of tissues. Last night, J and I drove to a wildflower preserve out in the Columbia Gorge and we said goodbye to Heidi. She always loved nature and hiking and the gorge, and this felt like the right place to talk to her and tell her how much she was missed.
Grief is never easy. Never. We’re getting through it the best we can, and for that I feel very grateful. I also feel ready to return to writing, to the words. Heidi was an avid reader–we shared books and loved many of the same authors. I remember her turning me on to Fall Down On Your Knees so long ago and our conversations about Annie Dillard, Tom Spanbauer and John Irving. The very first time we met, we both realized that one of our favorite books was this obscure novel that we were sure no one else had ever heard of (The Bone People, Kerry Hulme). It was the best of introductions.
The best goodbye I can think of is to return to the writing. To return to creating the kinds of work that brought us together in many ways, and that brought us both so much joy.
Heidi Anderson (obit from The Oregonian):