Oh. My. Fucking. God.
I cannot. Cannot, I say, remember the difference between lay and lie. (Oh, hell, did I just sound like Foghorn Leghorn there?)
Do I lie in the bed? [sometimes]
Do I lay when when I lie? [yes]
Do I lie when I lay? [i try not to]
Do you lay your hand on me while I’m lying and laying? [I hope so]
Am I lying when I say I haven’t been properly lain in a long while? […]
Are you going to use that paddle laying there, or are you just going lie there? No, don’t answer, just lie to me. Please. Say yes.
[Note: I’m sure I used lay and lie wrong every single freaking time in the above, and you know what? I just can’t tell…]
Kiss kiss bang bang (and a sweet, white lie plus a dark, hard lay — [I’m pretty sure I used it right that time though]), s.
“Truth may be eclipsed by a thrilling lie.” ~Aldous Huxley