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Three times this week I’ve woken from dreams of waiting tables. I spent many of my college years doing just that — waiting tables, bartending, serving people in one regard or another. I liked it, I was good at it. I was cute and young enough, and my skirts were short enough that I made great money. Enough, in truth, to pay off my college loans. Although I don’t want to go back to it, I figure it’s always a fall-back if times get hard. If the writing doesn’t sell. If I forgot how to write completely.

When I dream of waiting tables (I never dream of tending bar, only of waiting tables), I’m always flubbing up. The trays are too heavy to carry. I have far too many tables to actually deal with, and more come in and somehow I didn’t see any of them arrive. My customers hate me, which is silly because in my dreams, I never even make it to their tables. My boss hates me. I have the wrong shoes (Or I forgot my shoes entirely). In these dreams, I’m often a thief of some sort, although I never actually steal anything. This last one involved a swimming pool in the middle of the dining room, which everyone seemed to be okay with…

I’m sure this reoccuring dream says something about my psyche — although I’m almost afraid to ask what — but the thing I find so interesting is the dichotomy between dreams and reality, just how genuinely awful I am at my job while I’m asleep. Perhaps it just means I should find a new backup plan…

Did you ever wait tables? It seems like most of us have, at one point or another. Which is why “Stories from the Front” is such a cool idea. They’re looking for short pieces on your experiences as a server:

STORIES FROM THE Front: Serving (Tables) in America. Seeking submissions for an anthology of stories of serving tables in the USA. All correspondence to Zohar Hicks. E-mail: serversunite@gmail.com. Please check out the Web site: http://www.serversunite.com.

Call for submissions! Well-written humor pieces about serving tables in the USA. Make us laugh, make your
voice heard. Email us 1500 words or less pasted  into the body of the email, or email for postal address or more info.


PS — Jobs seem to be on everyone’s mind this week. Here, Craig talks about “Jobs You Love to Hate,” and Alana talks about waitressing past and present (including her dream job at Merlotte’s). Who else is writing about jobs? (Yes, blow jobs count too, although, sadly, I’ve never gotten paid for one of those… I mean, other than the usual payoff. Payload? Whatever!)


“I’d probably be famous now if I wasn’t such a good waitress.” ~Jane Siberry, avant garde musician