two truths and a liewhen i was twenty, and we were new — the futon our only bed, our lust and love and clothes the only mattress, the outside world nowhere we were so big — when that was true, i knew two other truths. * one, my heart couldn’t hold all of you, like too much water in a glass, balanced, and two, someday you’d be dead and my heart too, strung up sparrow, forever soundless. * now, i know a lot of truths. most of them have nothing to do with you. * but the truths of you are this: one, my heart holds you now in a small place, quiet corner, dark and dusty, and two, you’re dead and my heart still sings, sorrow notes, sorry notes. and three, nothing changes. not even after death. * still, your rib bones form a shallow cage for the place that held your heart. that door’s been open a long time now– the first time they cracked you, the second myocardial, the third, this now, that laid you down a final time, pinned to place. * three times, all those years ago, you said you wanted to be mine forever. three times, i said no. but it’s my hand that spilled across that paper, black as old blood, it’s my heart that said yes, you belonged to me. * i know this, too, is true: this cage of you is mine to carry now, new and silver, heavy as ashes light as bone. tomorrow, i will set it down, put my fist in the sky and scatter you to the words and the wind and the wings * what do i know is false? that i will let go,
that you will fly away that anyone is ever free. *
About This Poem: Argh. Hate, but at least it’s done. Nothing awesome to say about this poem even. Sometimes the muse is a nasty bitch.
About Poem-A-Day: For the month of April (National Poetry Month), I’ve signed on to write a poem-a-day (eeks!). To make it slightly easier on myself, my rules are that I have to write each poem in fifteen minutes or less, and that I have to post it here on the blog as soon as I’m done. No edits. Just rough. Raw. Right out of the gate. (Of course, if you’re playing along, I hope you’ll post a link to your poem in the comments here — mainly because I’m selfish and I want to read them!)