*

two truths and a lie

when i was twenty, and we were new —
the futon our only bed, our lust
and love and clothes the only mattress,
the outside world nowhere we were so big —
when that was true,
i knew two other truths.
*
one, my heart couldn’t hold all of you,
like too much water in a glass, balanced,
and
two, someday you’d be dead
and my heart too, strung up sparrow,
forever soundless.
*
now, i know a lot of truths.
most of them have nothing to do with you.
*
but the truths of you are this:
one, my heart holds you now in a small place,
quiet corner, dark and dusty,
and
two, you’re dead and my heart still sings,
sorrow notes, sorry notes.
and
three, nothing changes. not even after death.
*
still, your rib bones form a shallow cage
for the place that held your heart.
that door’s been open a long time now–
the first time they cracked you,
the second myocardial, the third,
this now, that laid you down a final time,
pinned to place.
*
three times, all those years ago,
you said you wanted to be
mine forever. three times, i said no.
but it’s my hand that spilled across that
paper, black as old blood, it’s my heart
that said yes, you belonged to me.
*
i know this, too, is true:
this cage of you is mine to carry now,
new and silver, heavy as ashes light as bone.
tomorrow, i will set it down, put my fist in the sky
and scatter you to the words
and the wind and the wings
*
what do i know is false?
that i will let go,
that you will fly away
that anyone is ever free.
*

*

*

About This Poem: Argh. Hate, but at least it’s done. Nothing awesome to say about this poem even. Sometimes the muse is a nasty bitch.

About Poem-A-Day: For the month of April (National Poetry Month), I’ve signed on to write a poem-a-day (eeks!). To make it slightly easier on myself, my rules are that I have to write each poem in fifteen minutes or less, and that I have to post it here on the blog as soon as I’m done. No edits. Just rough. Raw. Right out of the gate. (Of course, if you’re playing along, I hope you’ll post a link to your poem in the comments here — mainly because I’m selfish and I want to read them!)

See all my Poem-A-Day poems here.

*

Advertisements