This morning at the coffee shop: the reflections in my computer screen. The reflections in my brain. Come with me for a moment while I explore the angles, edges, colors and conclusions of each, of both, of their tangled web…
How does this happen? You look back over a year, and you think, “What? What happened?” I suppose it’s true that we look back over a lifetime as well and think that. Common refrain: I had dreams, I had plans, I had hopes, I had desires. What happened, what happened, what happened? Getting lost is what we do as part of life, it seems. It’s not a bad thing, necessarily. It opens us up to new experiences, to the unexpected, to the people and places we never expected. If hope is a thing made of feathers, then serendipity is a thing made of failures. Not failures in the big sense, but small failures, fissures that open in the smooth street of plans and dreams, places that are big enough for opportunities to poke their bunny-eared heads up and say, “hey! wait! look at me!”
November was a dark month. Clouds and rain, winter moving in. Not dark in a negative sense, but in a duck-your-head-and-run-for-home sense. I am pretty sure I spent 30 days running around holding a piece of paper over my head as though it would protect me from the drenching. but I made it through. The novel draft is finished. The big freelance editing project is off to the printer. The three big freelance writing projects have been approved by the editors. Most of the small loose ends have been tied up in pretty little bows. I still have some things on my plate — couple more editing projects, some sex toy and book reviews, a manuscript to finalize — but mostly, I have licked the platter clean.
Today, the sun is shining through the coffee shop windows. I have plans in the works, as I always do and my failures are dragging behind me like bedraggled string toys that refuse to be outgrown. But. But. But. I spent three hours this morning writing short stories, putting words on the page, penning characters, prettying up plots… it felt SO good, like finding your favorite old toy in your toybox and discovering that you still love it much as you remember. Thus, I have found. Thus, I am found.
Kiss kiss bang bang, s.